Sunday, August 16, 2009

Vinny Prospal A Ranger...

Well Flyer fans....

I'm sure many of you, like myself, are sad to hear that the New York Rangers have signed former-Flyer Vaclav Prospal to a 1-year, 1.1 Million dollar deal.

This, ofcourse, is a big deal to me because I want the Rangers to be a miserable team for many years to come, and they just signed a player who is pegged to have a 70-80 point season, but for the kind of money a 3rd line winger makes.

If you look at Vinny's statistics over his career, he's been a pretty up-down player. Take a look at these beauties:

1996-97 PHI 18 5 10 15
1997-98 PHI 41 5 13 18
1997-98 OTT 15 1 6 7
1998-99 OTT 79 10 26 36
1999-00 OTT 79 22 33 55
2000-01 OTT 40 1 12 13
2000-01 FLA 34 4 12 16
2001-02 TB 81 18 37 55
2002-03 TB 80 22 57 79
2003-04 ANH 82 19 35 54
2005-06 TB 81 25 55 80
2006-07 TB 82 14 41 55
2007-08 TB 62 29 28 57
2007-08 PHI 18 4 10 14
2008-09 TB 82 19 26 45

Basically, his career is a game of chutes-and-latters. He had a bad year last season, and this is the next good year in the rotation. Why couldn't the Flyers have signed this guy? He had amazing chemsitry with Briere for a long time, and cost' less than what we had to work with. We need a tad bit more firepower anyway to replace the losses of Knuble and Lupul.

Either way, Joffrey Lupul is no longer a Flyer: The offseason is still a huge victory of epic proportions.

One last thing....

I'd love for someone to try and convince me that Vinny Prospal DOESN'T practice smiling in front of a mirror.

My evidence to this claim? Look no further than this:


What.A.Narcissist. Perhaps, this is the reason why he decides to disapear every other season... He is lost in his own reflection on the ice.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Oh, Danny Boy...

There has been an amazing development at the Batt-Man house...

I received in the mail yesterday something that is very special to me, and meant SPECIFICALLY for the readers of my dear blog (The quality of my fans is more important than quantity, remember that.

In a series of special treats I had planned for you folks, I sent out questionnaire's to some of the best and brightest Philadelphia Flyers out there, past and present, in an attempt to get some inside access on their thoughts towards different topics of our choosing.

The first letter to be sent back was by... drum roll......


This is a great victory for the Live From Broad Street people. I am very happy.

Have I built this up enough? This is the best thing ever.ever. I have received a few autographs from the strapping young man, and they don't even touch this time-consuming piece of letter he sent to me.

Without further delay... Here it is.

(Click to make it readable)

I know it is only 5 questions, and 5 questions that some may find stupid and/or irrelevant, but it is what I wanted people to know, SO BACK OFF! (Billy Madison style).

That is just the first one for you guys...I expect plenty more to come, including many tough customer's!

I hope you enjoyed very very much.


HELLO fans. Sorry, I haven't been updating much, but there really isn't a whole lot to update in Flyer-land.

For those who need my site for their fix on the Flyers, here's what has happened since I last wrote:

The Flyers announced the signings of 5: Jason Ward, Krys Kolanos, Mika Pyorala and Joey Mormina to one-year contracts. They have also signed Lukas Kaspar to a one-year deal, the only player that I think has a prayer of making the team.

That's it, really. Oh, more fun news is that the Cote Carnival 2009 is going to have Ray Emery as a guest this year. He is the only other player officially signed on to be making an appearance at the moment.

If you would like tickets, go to

Check back for more updates, including a special series I have for you guys!

Friday, July 10, 2009

Off-season acquisition review #1:

Raymond Emery.

I am writing this article because the appearance of him on Twitter has caught my attention, and I’ve been meaning to write this series of article anyway, so why not start off with our first major acquisition?

The story on Emery: Great up and coming goaltender for the Ottawa Senators, fought Neil Little and the Phantoms as a Bingham Senator a few years back, made it to the big show and kicked some major ass and went to the Stanley Cup Finals (against Pronger, mind you) but failed,sadly… Here’s some fun info from, I know, Wikipedia….don’t take it verbatim.

“He once made a $500 bet with Senators captain Daniel Alfredsson, which required Emery to eat a cockroach that had been found on the floor of a Carolina dressing room. He won the bet, and used the money to get another tattoo on his right arm which read, "Anger is a Gift".”

What a cool looking guy. He is also huge on style. I need some help from him I think…I’m a young white man with no style whatsoever.

The following season, the Senators had many issues, one being an apparent disharmonious locker room for the Sens, with Emery being at the center. Long story made short, the Sens fell apart and used Emery as the scapegoat. He was bought out, and went to Russia. He then put up pretty good numbers, but still had some issues with his team. He went after the Atlant Moscow Oblast’s trainer after constant pressure to put on a baseball cap; I’d love to blame him and say he’s out of control for this, but that'd have me upset too.

Who cares, that’s in that past.

NOW, he is a Philadelphia Flyers. He signed a one year, 1.5 million dollar contract to fly the orange and the black. I’m sure we weren’t his ONLY option, so it is nice to have someone of his caliber be understanding of our cap situation and be willing to be another piece to the Stanley Cup winning puzzle. He has the attitude that reminds us Flyers fans of Ron Hextall, but probably has more potential. Either way, with the additions of Pronger, Laperriere and himself…the crease WILL be cleared from the “Happy Feet” Penguins.

He took the uniform number 29…..hmmm….interesting. There is no reason for the choice, but I personally think it is because many Flyer tough-customers donned that number (Todd Fedoruk is the first that comes to mind).
I think he was the perfect fit considering our cap situation…the upside is very high, but if he goes, I don’t think Boucher is enough to get the job done. All I know is, I want to see a combination of Rocky/Apollo Creed/Bernard Hopkins on his helmet next season!
Good luck, Ray.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Chris Pronger, the comedian.

Chris Pronger is the man. I love his game in every aspect, ranging from his shot from the point, physical play, leadership and defensive positioning....but I've come to learn something else about him that I love:

His personality.


I sat and watched his press conference at noon today, and sat there laughing continuously after each response to reporters.

One of the more interesting statements made by Pronger, referring to his reputation as a player, was "I put a lot of pressure on are booing, in my's up to the player's to be held accountable for their playing"

When a reporter asked "What kind of message can you send to them (Malkin/Crosby), as a Flyer?", Pronger smiled and said "I think you know the answer to that". The reporter said "I know what I'm thinking, what are you thinking?", Pronger again smiled in a laughing matter and said "I'll just let you come up with your own...we don't want to pre-meditate anything, now do we?"

He is a very hilarious fellow, I have to admit.

Another reporter brought up a quote from Chris, that said " said you need two shut down defenseman against these two guys (Malkin/Sid, again)...". Chris confidently went "No, two shut-down pairs..." ::pause:: Chris added "That's four" and held up four fingers for the reporter, and the room erupted in laughter at the reporter

Just when we thought Pronger had beaten the reporter down to a proverbial pulp, he added again: "But he plays them sometimes together...". Pronger said quickly "Well, then you put your two top-D together."

I have to say, Pronger made the reporters of this city look bad. Regardless, the press conference continued on.

Another guy threw out to Chris "...Braydon Coburn said last week he had a poster of you in his bedroom wall growing up...", and Chris quickly said "So he's the one!"

I admit, I chuckled at this one pretty heartily.

When asked about why the number 20, he said it was because of his father's number playing hockey. A reporter asked if he played like his father, Chris replied in a laughing manner "I hope not. You obviously haven't seen him play... I took his number, but not his game."

and the last comment I want to share about this amazing person

When asked "Do you feel 34?"...he said "I feel 24" with another smile on his face.

I can't be anymore excited for this upcoming season than I am now. The Flyers logo looked amazing draped across this man's chest. Good luck to him and let's hope the Stanley Cup is making a return to PA next year, but flying the orange and black this time.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Flyers Offseason far at least..

Well, it is Day 3 of Free Agency and I just wanted everyone to be caught up on how awesome I am at predicting these things.

I wrote an article after the 1st round of the playoffs, I think, about which free agents the Flyers should gun for even with their limited cap space. I think I did a pretty good job, considering almost all of these guys re-sign or signed for under 2 million dollars a year (Besides you, Sir Scuderi….figures that LA overpaid you).


1. ROBERT SCUDERI! – [4 years, 3.40 Mill a year]. I was a big fan of his this season, and became a bigger one after the playoffs (just like everyone else)…but by the time he hit Free Agency, the Flyers had already fixed their defensive woes, so it doesn’t bother me at all that LA went out and spent major dough on him.

2. Greg Zanon – [3 years, 1.93 Mill a year]. I’m just stunned by this. He was the #1 priority for me, as far as the Flyers go because I knew we could get him, and get him cheap, but I didn’t know it would’ve been THIS cheap. He’ll thrive in Minnesota among their new look team. Good luck to him.

3. Ossi Vaananen - [Nowhere yet]. I’m a fan, obviously. My list has changed a tad bit in regards to him even being on it… I had originally put him on this list as a cheap option to pair with Kimmo Timonen, and that would bump down more talented defensemen down to round-out the corps, but now that we’ve acquired Chris Pronger, there isn’t a gaping hole as there was before. Good luck pal.


1. Mark Recchi- [Re-sign Boston, 1 yr 1 Mill] – COME ON! I wanted you back at a cheap rate, but noooooooooooooo you were hell bent on going back to Boston, where you’ve only played for 30-40 games. TRAITOR! Fine! We’ve got Ian Laperriere instead.

2. Patrick Thoresen – [ 2 years, ??? for some KHL team]- Same thing as Recchi…I would’ve loved to have had you back man. I think you could’ve helped piece together the magic that team had in 07-08 during that run to the ECF’s (which easily could’ve been a SCF….yes, if Timm/Coburn didn’t get hurt.) Good luck in Russia.

3. Scottie Upshall – [Nowhere]. Uh I’m not sure that he’ll be out there for the Flyers to grab, but due to their recent shedding of poundage at the RW position, it would be a great idea to pick up someone to keep that goal total close to what it was last year (which it won’t, but I’m alright as long as the Goals Against is lowered). Let’s hope he can play for 2 Mill a year and bring some chemistry, and sparkplug back to the roster.

4. Colby Armstrong – [Nowhere]. Same thing as Upshall, for the most part. I’m just waiting to see what happens as an RFA, and hopefully the Flyers could sign a guy like him. Just so I don’t sound like a broken record, I’m ending it with this: He’d be nice.

The end. How awesome am I? Most signed under 2 million a year…which is what we have to work with.

The new candidate I do have is Ales Kotalik for the wing, but I’m very sure that his price is way too high for us.

I've also thrown my support to Mike Zigomanis (as I'm sure the girls at Puck Huffers are well aware of!) to do what he does best, which is win faceoff after faceoff.

We’ll see.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009



What a totally underwhelming first day of free agency for the Philadelphia Flyers…
I’m not surprised; I wasn’t expecting anything major to happen when we have no salary cap room. Here’s just a summary of some of the moves that have happen so far related to the Flyers in some way:

1. Mike Knuble – (Washington Capitals)….I can’t say I’m shocked this went down. I had been hearing for a little while that “Iron Mike” may’ve been heading to Wsh. They needed a guy like him and he’ll be a nice addition. Sad to see him go.

2. Patrick Thoresen – (Somewhere in the KHL)… NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I’m fucking pissed. I love you man, I love you. You had to stay out of the NHL..didn't you? Damnit.

3. Brian Boucher – (Us) …I’m actually pretty OK with this one. We needed someone who is cheaper than Emery, and Boucher is coming off of a pretty good year in San Jose (then again, it was SJ’s stacked team). 3rd time is a charm I suppose.

4. Ian Lapierre – (Us again) … I’m actually THRILLED with this signing. 3 years at 1.17 per year, and he’s a great locker room presence. He’s a tough little bastard, and can alleviate some stress from Carter/Richards on the PK. We may regret the 3rd year, but that’s fine. I think two things can be assumed from this signing:

1. No one wants to f*** with the Flyers this year.

2. Riley Cote may’ve lost his job.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Pronger Analysis


I apologize that I haven’t written up a blog yet about the Flyers AMAZING SUPER AWESOME TRADE of former-St. Louis Blue, Harftord Whaler, Anaheim Duck and Edmonton Oiler: Chris Pronger (I have a job, lay-off...fuckers).

Is it putting it too lightly when I say that I am THRILLED about it?!?!? When I turned on the Draft, the first thing we hear is that “Reports are saying the Chris Pronger has been traded to the Philadelphia Flyers”… I had the same feeling I had when I heard that the Flyers had signed Peter Forsberg. I knew it was a player who would come in here and instantly be the best 1 or 2 guys on the roster. Plus, I had the two crazy girls from Puck Huffers call and say “Congratulations Kevin on Chris Pronger!”… those crazy girls knew I’d be going nuts.

Of course, I didn’t put a lot of thought into who we gave up for him. I knew it’d be this year’s first, and/or probably James Van Riemsdyk. I was also THINKING it would be Joffrey Lupul, but it could’ve been Carle as well. Now for what we actually gave up…I’m kind of sad. I loved Luca Sbisa and what he brought to the table (plus, it was fun to say his name with an Italian accent “LuCa-SbIsa!”), but Chris Pronger is a top 5-defenseman in the entire NHL; yes, he IS better than anyone the Penguins, Rangers, or Devils have (I refuse to even mention the Isles in this discussion). Yes, he will create two defensive pairings that will help shut down Malkin and Crosby every time we play. And, yes, he will add more toughness to our team, which will make every team in the NHL think twice about taking any liberties.

It is unfortunate that we gave up two 1st’s and Sbisa, but I think our prospect pool is deep enough to take the hit; we have Maroon, Nodl, JVR as wingers coming up the pipe still, with Marshall and Bourdon as the top defensive prospects. I’m not worried. 4/6 of our defense is under 25 years old as it is.

I think this move, barring a Ray Emery meltdown, makes us one of the top 2 teams in the Eastern Conference next season (Phi and Bos). Sorry Pens, I really just don’t think you guys will have the magic to pull games from us this upcoming season. If the Flyers win the Cup this year, no one can complain about this trade; it accomplishes exactly what it was supposed to.

Brian Burke said it best himself: “Chris Pronger was born to wear orange”.

09-10 Stanley Cup Champions!

Friday, June 26, 2009

Quick Blog 30 minutes befor the draft...

1. There's no fucking way on the planet that the Islanders take someone OTHER than John Tavares with the #1 overall pick. Hedman is sexy, Duschene is a great player, but no one on the isles has any clue as to who Duschene is (most don't know Tavares either, granted), but the ones who do will come to watch him play.

I'll be back later


1. I told you Tavares was going first

and 2.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, Eastern Conference. I don't even care that we gave up Luca Sbisa for him.


Philadelphia Flyers: 2009-2010 Stanley Cup "Paper" Champions

3. I'm very sad Magnus went to Edmonton. There's something ugly about them getting the next Peter Forsberg.....meh

3. When the hell is Schroeder going to be taken arleady?

Thursday, June 25, 2009

RIP Jackson/ My hopes of landing J-Bo...

First, I’d like to start this blog by taking the time to say brief words about the former King of Pop, Michael Jackson.

It’s very sad to see the guy go…I wasn’t around to see his prime, during his “Thriller” days, but I had grown to love that song, and just his talent in-general. The problem for me is that, I became a fan when he was already an alleged child molester, when he had already screwed up his appearance, and when he wasn’t making amazing music anymore (when was his last great hit? I can’t even remember). It’s hard for me to be sad in a sentimental way, rather I just find it to be a very unfortunate thing to lose an icon as big as he was.

You will be missed, despite the molestation charges (which I think you did at least once), and the wacked-out behavior. You were given a true gift from God, and you shared it with everyone.

P.s. I wish I could feel worse for the loss of Farrah Fawcett as well, but I really knew nothing about her. I just know she was gorgeous and was everyone’s favorite Angel. Sorry you were upstaged on the day of your death.

and now on to hockey...


Well, it is the day before the NHL Draft, and I've only had my hopes DWINDLED down from what they were of landing defenseman Jay Bouwmeester. I was confident, extremely confident infact about obtaining his rights, but for some hope as gone out the window.

I've read that Bouwmeester hasn't/won't give his agent permission to speak with any team right now, which tells me he is interested in only going to free agency. That's a BAD scenario for the Flyers if that's the case...we don't have the cash to compete with teams like Vancouver or Toronto.

I do have hope of obtaining Toronto defenseman Tomas Kaberle. TSN's Darren Drager has reported that one NHL club has made a significant offer to the Leafs GM and he is mulling it over. Could this be the Flyers? Do you want it to be the Flyers?

I think I want it to. He makes $4.25 Million for the next 2 seasons, and puts up points (which our defensemen DON'T do), and will allow us to keep our core together.

The question is, who do you trade for him? Would you give up JVR, Giroux, or Sbisa? There's only one guy of those 3 I'd give up, and he's actually the best pick we've had in years: JVR. Make a package and do the deal, Paul. I've been very un-impressed with Riemer, and I HOPE he doesn't go, but if push comes to shove...sorry man.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Random Thoughts...

Nothing new today, really.

There is a rumor floating around from Spector's Hockey that Holmgren may be willing to sending Joffrey Lupul to the Panthers for Bouwmeester's rights. That's great, but since there's nothing official, I won't write about it.

Here are two hilarious pictures though that are made by Jules 801 from

Crosby's sleeping with a dude

We all knew this was going down

I should have something nice for you guys tomorrow, perhaps even tonight. But don't count on it.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Flyers Flying to Fenway?

WELL, wasn't I surprised last night when my good buddy TheRick sent me an instant message with an artcle link that gave me VERY excellent news ( at least for me it was).

Apparently, despite several reports that the Washington Capitals will be playing the Boston Bruins on January 1st in this season's Winter Classic, NBC has infact stepped up to the NHL and said they want the Flyers to play Boston instead.

It has to be pimrarily from a ratings standpoint. Either way, Boston isn't really a rival with either team, but there is a tiny bit of history between BOS and Phi; Philly won their first Cup against the Bruins in the 70' well as the two teams being some of the best in the Eastern Conference.

Either way, I'm thrilled IF it goes down how the reports have gone. Since it's Jan. 1, I plan on being on winter break from school, and will be making a road trip up to Boston for this game with friends.

Getting tickets will be the b***h, but I have to try, right?


Monday, June 22, 2009

Knuble Wants To Stay/ Jay-Bo Loophole?

Alright, so I was reading an article for Flyers blogger Timmy Panacchio about the possibilities of re-signing Mike Knuble, in addition to shedding cap space for a D-Man ::COUGH COUGH:: Jay Bouwmeester.

Knuble expressed his interest in re-signing, as well as the Flyers’ interest in bringing him back. It is just the final cap number (which will be released around Friday or Saturday) that is holding back both sides from getting the deal done. Knuble is very adamant about a multi-year contract with Philadelphia, and despite saying he’s open to a one-year deal…I don’t think he is.

What do the Flyers do?

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Use the CBA rule for over-35 players and give him an incentive laden contract (as mentioned in the article). As long as he can make as much, if not more, than he did last season but have most of it not count against our cap figure, than who cares? I know it isn’t as simple as how I put it, but if the incentives can be obtained realistically by Knuble, I don’t see there being much of a problem between the two parties getting a deal done.

I hope we keep Mike around; he’s the only guy with a ring on the team and stands his ground in front of the net. What a stud.

And to address the salary cap situation to sign someone this summer: The Flyers have about 6 Million dollars left under the current cap number. They need two forwards, and a defenseman. One of those forwards could/SHOULD be Knuble, the other should be a 3rd/4th line defensive center who can take faceoffs (Mike Zigomanis anyone?), and the last should be a major upgrade on defense.

Now, Jay Bouwmeester is a total pipe-dream, BUT it is possible. As per the article, Jay-Bo will command a multi-year deal at around 7 Million a year (I’m thinking he’d take 6.5 Million though, who’s just my opinion anyway). Between a Knuble and Ziggy, there’d be like 4 Million left in space.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Now here is where it gets interesting: 4 Million clearly isn’t enough for J-Bo, but there is a rule in the CBA that allows a team to go over the cap by 5% until the beginning of the upcoming season; the Flyers can take advantage of this rule.

Let’s assume that the cap stays exactly the same at 56.7 Million. 5% of that is 2.835 million. Add remaining space to that number, and you get around 6.8 Million in space. If you can find a way to sign J-Bo for that this summer, Homer can spend the rest of his time trying to move that extra 5% of space somewhere.

It isn’t the most genius scenario, but it should be an option for sure.

Alright, that’s enough of my awesome mumbo-jumbo. THANKS FOR READING!


URL to Timmy P Article:

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Holmgren Comments on Lupul/Offseason

Taken off of an article from PhillyBurbs.

GM Paul Holmgren sat down with Burbs' Wayne Fish and went over some things about the team since the playoffs have ended. They ended up having a quick chat about discipline and one name in particular was thrown out: Joffrey Lupul.

Joffrey is the center of MANY trade proposals on HFboards, mainly because of his 4+ Million dollar cap number, but also because of his seeming lack of effort all-around. Here is the quote from Fish/Homer:

Fish: What was your offseason message to Joffrey Lupul, who seems to be inconsistent at times?

Holmgren: "He needs to be stronger, his upper body in particular. He needs to be in the best shape he's ever been. This is a big year for him. He tends to drift every so often. If he's on his game, he has a chance to be a 40-goal scorer. He does many things well, but he drifts in and out. He has to bring it every night.''

I agree with Holmgren entirely. Some nights, it seems he'd rather be doing something else than playing professional hockey. I can understand if some players are like that, but I shouldn't be able to recognize it.


Joffrey: Where is the Lupul I know and believe in that started out on the 2007-2008 season hitting everything in sight, skating his hardest and crashing the net? Your ability is there and you have amazing just need to put in the effort, my friend, and you can be a consistent 30 goal scorer.


and Holmgren, commenting on the Cap and retaining Mike Knuble:

Fish: Small changes or big changes this summer?

Holmgren: "There are a lot of different scenarios, from moving forward with our group to making drastic, well, not drastic changes but things we're looking at. We're doing a lot of talking with other teams, just doing our homework.''

That's nice to hear. That means he's going to try and re-sign Alberts and Knuble (which are good moves, pending the salaries of course), and he is also talking A LOT with other teams.

What more can we ask for in our GM? I have faith!

(URL to Article)

Who should I make?

Considering there isn't much hockey to watch lately, I have decided to spend my free time doing something productive.

Not hanging out with friends, making more money (other than what I already make), or reading a novel. No, I prefer to make a customized Mcfarlane Hockey figure. The question is, who?

That's for you people to decide.

What I have to work with is a Jeremy Roenick figure, pictured here:


Now, the question is....Who do I make this guy into? I'm contemplating a few options.


Rod Brind'amour


Claude Giroux



Luca Sbisa.

Help me. Please.

Only you can make this important decision for me. Not to sway you in any way, but I'd just like to say that Rod Brind'amour IS my favorite player since childhood and I wouldn't mind making him.

Either e-mail me or comment so I can begin..otherwise I'll be sitting in custom figure making purgatory.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Just a little about me...

I figured, since many of you are going to be reading my blogs for a long time, it would only be right if you got to know me a little bit better.

My name is Kevin, I am 19 years old from Philadelphia and a huge fan of, you guessed it, the Flyers.


I have been a fan since …1998 or so when I first laid eyes on the large brute Eric Lindros, smooth-skating Eric Desjardins, and the large/de-formed nose of Rod Brind’amour. I was hooked.

Now, I am just a college student living my life out as the average American hockey nut. I go to games as much as I can, I collect autographs sometimes from players, and make videos occasionally when I am extremely happy, mad, or bored.

And lastly, it is my goal to become an intern for the Philadelphia Flyers once I am eligible to be considered (have to be a Junior or Senior in college, meh).

I have a LOT in store for you guys (the reader’s) as this blog continues to grow…more interactive stuff, plus hopefully some more personal things from the Flyers themselves.


LET'S GO FLYERS (Until you start sucking, in which case LET'S GO PHILLIES!)


Friday, June 19, 2009

The NHL Awards Show

The NHL Awards are wrapped up.

Was anyone surprised with ANY of the outcomes? I sure wasn't.

Normally, I don't even bother to watch the NHL Awards. I already know who should probably get them, and the show itself is usually pretty mind-numbingly boring. This time, however, my mother insisted on watching the awards (perhaps it was because she is a Pens fan and her boys were up for a few awards?). Let me just tell you how my viewing of it went.

First off, the opening was a riduculous MESS...Chaka Kahn comes out singing with some random guy who's name I can't recall at the moment, singing a totally irrelevant song and honestly, making me question how anyone ever bought her shit when people actually gave a crap about her (Chaka). If her singing wasn't bad enough, she has the BALLS to come out on stage and tries to convince me that she is wearing real hair on her head. Come on, get real.


It was nice to see Kevin Connolly (of Entourage, who is an Isles fan..poor guy), Michael Buble (great singer...why wasn't he singing instead of Miss Ebony?), and J.R. opening the show; I thoroughly enjoyed watching the usually excellent speaking Jeremy Roenick stumble through the introduction.

And BOY, can I just tell you how THRILLED I was when they decided to show a highlight reel of how awesome the Pittsburgh Penguins are for winning the Stanley Cup. It just gave me chills, but in all the wrong places.

Then they started with the actual awards. Steve Mason won the Calder, which I agreed with solely because he is a goaltender and Bobby Ryan is a forward....goaltending counts more. That's it.

The next award, the Lester B. Pearson award, was just cruel. After the Calder winning Mason left the stage, out stumbles poor Vladimir Konstantinov, whom I didn't think could even walk. Seriously, what the fuck was the NHL thinking bringing this guy out on national TV! When it was time to read the winner, he had no idea what was even going on. That's another strike against you, Bettman. Oh..yeah..Ovechkin won. Yays...


The Selke was next. Datsyuk won, Richards lost. Write-up over.

I'm not going to mention the Masterson, Lady Byng or King Clancy trophies because they're all stupid and I don't care who wins them. The William M. Jennings, Art Ross and Rocket Richard trophies already had winners so we'll skip them as well.

What is a Scotia Bank Fan Fav Award and why should I care who wins it? ::NHL Exec whispers into my is a bullshit trophy meant to eat up time and make it a more legit awards ceremony?..ah..touche Mr. Bettman...touche.

Here comes Chaka Kahn out to sing...AGAIN. Where is Donte Stallworth when you need him to end my misery?

The next award, the Vezina, was won by "Tiny" Tim Thomas and I think it was well deserved. Mason and Backstrom were pretty deserving, but Tim Thomas was probably the best goaltender from beginning to end.

His heartfelt speech was really nice to see, considering there have been jerks like Martin Brodeur winning it so much in the past 20 years and have been de-sensitized to how great of an honor it is; for Marty, it is just another day on the job. What a douche.

Claude Julien won the Jack Adams. Did anyone think he WASN'T going to win it? He was up against a guy who had a non-playoff team (Blues) and a guy who had the #1 team in the NHL for a while but then collapsed like a house of cards (Sharks). No contest.

The "Messier Leadership Award"? I'll leave it at that.

The James Norris Trophy was up next, presented beautifully by Brian Leetch, and was tarnished by the nomination of Mike Green for it; Mike Green may've scored over 30 goals, but he still sucks. Yes, I think he sucks...him and his little white-boy mohawk.


Chara is the total package, plain and simple. He's too big, strong, fast and good to have lost to either Lidstrom or Green this season. Congrats buddy!

(On a total side note..if you put Datsyuk's head on Chara's body, you would have Lurch from The Addams Family)....just saying.

And lastly...Ovie wins the Hart Trophy. I'm glad for the guy, I think he's the best thing that could've happened to the NHL after the lockout. He's big, strong, foreign, and just a funny guy. I've heard from a source that a few months ago he walked into a strip-club with some buddies, and left $18,000 poorer in one night...if that doesn't tell you he knows how to have a good time, than what will?......Oh, and he's a great player. Congrats Alex the Great!


Well, that'll wrap up my review. I hope you enjoyed

The Batt-Man